Come Back to Me When You're All Better
by Royal Puppet Master
Summary: Russia had isolated himself from all other's believing that he deserves to be alone. He and America have a meeting, and lo and behold, their bosses want to improve relations. Will Russia be able to get close to America? Will America convince Russia that he's worth something? 'His lips pulled tight against his teeth in a desperate attempt to smile.'
1. Chapter 1

His lips pulled tight against his teeth in a desperate attempt to smile. He couldn't even manage a simple smile anymore. He thought it would be good for him to get away from them all. To stay away from all the bad people. He just ended up feeling more alone. He knew he deserved it. He spent every waking moment of every day telling himself how much he deserved being alone. Not having any friends. Not having anyone but a deranged sister. He deserved to be tortured like this.

He sat with his back against the wall. It was cool and the cloth pressed against his skin tightly. His shirt was restricting, but he wouldn't change it. He leaned his head back hitting it upon the wall a bit too hard. He wouldn't use his hands to comfort the bruise. His eyes kept on the ground. He had a meeting to go to in a few minutes. He would be late. He would be punished for being late.

He smiled slowly the thought pleasing him. He shouldn't like that idea. It shouldn't sound so wonderful to him. He laughed bitterly. He was an awful person and country. He hurt his people so much. He destroyed their lives. The proletariats and the bourgeois. He could still see their empty eyes staring forward as they waited in line for moldy millet. He had done that to them. It had been his will that broke them.

He took out a cigarette and lit it with an almost broke match. If he got lung cancer from this it would be good for him. It would torture him until they found a cure, but he wouldn't accept it.

He stretched his legs up and let the cigarette fall from his mouth. It landed on his chest and left a burn. His arms pressed to the wall. His hands pressed to the ground. He slid up the wall slowly. Achingly slow. When he reached his full height he was pressed to tightly against the wall he didn't think he could separate.

He pulled away from the wall. It was the only thing comforting him. He would be ten minutes late to the meeting. His boss would be angry. They were in the middle of peace talks with America. He closed his eyes tightly. He could still see America behind his eyes. Golden locks and brightly shining eyes. America was beautiful. He was free. He was everything that was good in the world. Big cities, nice people, rude people, shiny new offices, celebrated military personnel, a warm summer that pervaded everywhere, capitalism… All the good stuff.

He started walking. His legs were weary. They barely kept him up and it took him great effort to keep moving. Every time his foot hit the floor it jostled him and he felt almost as if he were going to fall. He cracked his neck and rolled his arms. They were stiff.

He finally made it to the meeting room. It felt too automatic. It was as if he was in a dream. This wasn't a dream though. This was real. He knew it by the throbbing pain in his head. He could see his boss was talking to him.

"…and you have the audacity!" He tuned in at the last bit and pulled his skin across his teeth again. It didn't feel real. He sat down in the meeting chair and looked at America.

"Stop smiling, commie! It's creepy as fuck!" He figured his skin was still pulled tightly. He didn't have the will to stop it.

"If it annoys you, America, then it serves its purpose." He clasped his hands together on top of the meeting table. The world was spinning around him and it felt like water was running through his head. It was liquid and had a very low viscosity for he could feel his mind pouring right out his ears.

"Ass hole!" The liquid was running out of his ears quickly. He felt light headed.

"Such basic insults. Is your vocabulary so shoddy that you must resort to insults a twelve year old child would be more prone to use than a man of your age?" He threw back the first thought to fill his mind before it had a chance to dissolve into nothing from which it formed.

"Fuck you! My vocabulary is fine! I just thought that your commie brain wouldn't be able to process any insults that were actually witty! Big nose!" He sighed and leaned on his hands. Even bantering with America had lost its shimmer. It used to be the highlight of his day. Now he could barely get out of bed every morning even at the prospect of seeing America. The nation of the free. The nation that didn't feed its people moldy millet because the communists took most of the good food for themselves throwing some lavish parties where it was all wasted.

"America, I am very tired and as a result I am not up to par as usual. I wish not to continue this arguing. Will you please let me rest?" His voice was quite low and it droned sounding lifeless.

"You don't sound so well… Are you okay?" His eyes traveled wearily to America. Eyebrows knitted together. His bottom lip jutted out. It all conveyed worry. A worry he himself could not feel anymore let alone express for another.

"I am fine, America. As fine as I will be for a while." He said that line so much and so often it sounded monotone like a bad actor. He didn't wish to change it. He didn't have the energy. Instead he let his lips fall back into a frown like usual.

"You don't sound fine…" America whined it. He shrugged his shoulders going up stiffly and coming back down halfway stopping in the middle before beginning their descent again. It was as if someone had pushed pause while he was in the middle of shrugging and then pushed play just as quickly because they had not meant to pause the action.

"I am fine. Things only hurt to a certain point." He didn't want to say that the point was the middle of his soul where everything hit sharply and expertly like an assassin's knife. It would twist and stab again and again to cause as much pain as possible before pulling away as if the act or the words never happened, but leaving a gaping wound.

"I know the feeling sometimes…" He tilted his head to the side wondering if America meant what he meant or if he was just trying to make him feel better. He doubted the latter possible. He leaned forward his neck aching as he did so.

"Do you now?" His voice was husky a tone he so rarely used. America had only heard it once back in World War One in one of the trenches. He had flown there to give information on what exactly was happening on his side of the war. He had meant to tell how one out of every three of his soldiers had no weapons. How they were dying painful deaths. They had ended up pressed against each other as bombs flew about on the battle field. He had whispered in his ear something he couldn't remember.

America blushed when he had heard his tone. He wasn't sure if the nation was going to respond or if they were going to leave it at that. Just as he opened his mouth their superiors caught their attention. It seemed just like them to interrupt something that might be important.

"Russia." His superior's voice was cold to him. He stood upon the word. It felt like ice slipping out into the air.

"America..." The voice held a certain warmth like that of a father to their child. He envied that. America stood when his name was called.

"You two will be staying together until the upcoming meeting to work on favorable relations." He nodded feeling colder inside than he already was. His neck hurt and he moved his hand to it. It felt to stiff. Both the hand and the neck.

He wasn't communist anymore, but he could still see it everywhere. He could see people starving and dying in the streets. Begging for food he didn't have. He refused food and instead gave it to the children on the street. He was becoming thinner as the weeks pressed on.

"What?! No fair! I don't want to be anywhere near this commie!" He turned at the sentence. Lips stretching across his teeth in a make shift smile. He found it humorous that he should be called a communist. He never truly was until he had been brainwashed at the end of World War Two. He placed a stiff hand on a stiff shoulder and looked at America. His eyes were dull while the other's sparkled luminously. He pulled his hand away from the warm shoulder.

"I am not communist anymore." He wished to say he never was. The words wouldn't come out. They stuck dying in the back of his throat. His tongue felt like cotton inside his mouth as he became acutely aware of it. He couldn't find where to place it in his mouth without it feeling awkward.

"Once a communist, always a communist." America glared at him. The prospect of being anywhere near him must seem like absolute hell to the American. He smiled at that. It was a slow smile of malicious intent that never quite formed into the intent, but was left halfway finished when he realized the thought of America being tortured seemed appealing.

"That is just not so, America." His voice low and husky droned quietly as though the energy to make it louder left him with all attempts to be nice.

"It is so because I say it's so!" He yawned lightly closing his eyes and stretching. His back and shoulders popped loudly. It must have been a while since he popped them, but of course it wasn't. His body just became stiff for no reason lately.

"That still does not make it so." He turned away from America not wanting to see that sparkle in his eyes while his remained dull and lifeless. He didn't have the energy to deal with the man as he used to. It may be because his people were so tired, but he guessed that it was mostly himself that was tired.

"Shut up, Commie." He grasped America's hand within his own. His gloves prevented skin to skin contact. That was good. If he touched the American he would no doubt go insane if he wasn't already.

"We must go now." He spoke as his voice bounced from the walls of his throat. There really wasn't any effort this time. He wondered how he was going to keep his true nature from the American. He didn't think it would be easy. Not with how truly wicked he was. He was so awful. He couldn't look himself in the mirror anymore. He didn't have any reflective surfaces in his house anymore.

"I still don't like you." All traces of worry America had for him disappeared at the prospect of sharing a room with him. He didn't like that, but he knew that no one should worry about him. He was despicable even more so now that the Cold War had ended. He didn't deserve any worry. He didn't deserve any love. He had made a list and checked it twice isolating himself from all others. He deserved to suffer for what he did. He deserved to suffer for killing a child.

* * *

Hey, I've been gone for a while, like any of you care, but back now. this will be multiple chapters. Don't know how I'm gonna end this, but maybe the way I started. Any who, I hope you enjoyed it even if it is slightly depressing. Leave a comment if you please. This is probably going to be written solely in Ivan's POV, but who knows. I may just change it up when I feel better. I can't guarantee that it's going to be updated frequently, but I hope you continue reading anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Hetalia. Nothing of it.


	2. Chapter 2

He led America to his house. It was old and was crumbling. He stood at the door noticing it stayed jarred open. He looked at it not fully comprehending if he had left it in that state or if someone had broken into his house. There was nothing left to steal in that house. It had been robbed too many times.

"Looks like someone broke in." America's voice broke him from his thoughts. Their bosses decided it was best if America stayed in Russia to gain a bit of the culture. Russia would stay in America after a month of America staying here and then Russia would stay three months at America's. He figured his boss just wanted rid of him and why shouldn't he?

"Da. There was nothing left to steal though." He walked in to see the house trashed and empty with graffiti all over the walls. Коммунист sprayed all over the walls. The fire place was destroyed. He shrugged it off and went to his fridge. It wasn't there anymore.

"This place is a dump, Ivan." His eyes widened. America had just used his human name. He stared at him in shock not caring what he had remarked about his house.

"America…" He whispered the word. His voice failing him now. He wished he hadn't said it. It reminded him of the olden days where they sat looking at the blue sky together on the soft grass.

"Well, if we're gonna be living together for four months we might as well start using them. You can start calling me Alfred as well. Even if it's an old man's name." He closed his eyes and trudged up the stairs nodding at Amer… Alfred's words. He needed to check if his bed was still there.

He opened the door to his bedroom. There were dead birds everywhere. He Looked around and saw no bed. Shutting the door he went to the guest bedroom. The twin bed was still there. Still too small for Ivan. It would fit Alfred well enough he supposed.

"Ivan? Whatcha doin' up there?" He could hear the other calling for him. He walked to the edge of the stairs and could see America looking up at him.

"You can have the guest bed. It is too small for me. The other rooms don't have anything left." He stood tall and straight. He almost looked proud if it wasn't for that dead glare in his eyes.

"What about your room?" Alfred had already started up the stairs.

"It had nothing you would want to see." Alfred stood beside him now. He looked the young man in the eye. They were still sparkling. He almost wanted to gouge them out and put them up so no one could ever see them again besides him. He smiled slowly at the thought. How nice that would be!

"What? Whatcha got in there? Dead animals or somethin'?" He nodded. There was no reason for hiding it. They would soon stink up the house. There were no hotels around here. Those things cost too much money. He could not stay with anyone else. No one liked him. He was still a communist in their eyes.

"Really?! Hey, why don't we go stay in some hotel?" He shook his head. Ivan was too tired to explain, but he figured it necessary.

"None around here. No one will allow me in there house. You may go if you wish." He turned ready to go sleep in his bedroom with the dead crows.

"Ivan, where are you going?" Alfred's tone was serious. The boy wasn't afraid of the big bad Soviet Union anymore. The big bad Soviet Union didn't exist.

"I'm going to sleep. I am tired." He felt Alfred grab his arm. He pulled it away and turned to his fellow nation.

"You're sleeping with me." He nodded and went into the guest bedroom. He had no covers to offer. It was still winter. The window was broken as were all of them.

Alfred looked around and he knew he was inspecting a dump. This house was not worth looking at. It was old and torn apart by many robbers and vandals. He didn't have anywhere else to go. He didn't deserve anywhere else. He sat down on the broken twin mattress.

"We're gonna have to do something about that window." Alfred said and Ivan just shrugged. He dealt with them. There was no point in fixing them. They were just going to be broken again.

"I can find a dead tree. They stole my axe. I can maybe use the broken marble from the fire place." Alfred shook his head.

"Teach me Russian. I'll get an axe from the neighbors. I'll go get some hay too. That mattress doesn't look like it'll hold up both of us." He nodded and laid down on it. A spring digging into his back. He did not readjust himself. The cold was already setting in. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep forever. He was useless as it was.

"Hey, Ruski, no sleeping. You gotta get up and go find me a suitable tree for chopping up. We gotta fix that window before both of us freeze to death." He stood and smiled. A real smile. It had been quite a while since he had done that.

"I will find you a tree, Alfred. I cannot say it will be a good one." He stretched his arms and headed out for a tree leaving Alfred to do as he pleased. The window was going to be destroyed again. There really was no sense in fixing it. He shook his head. He shouldn't be feeling a bit pleased.

He saw a fallen tree. Walking over to it he noticed a small bear cub. He could not get this tree without alerting mother bear. He smiled slowly. He deserved this… He really did… Even if he didn't quite believe it yet…

* * *

Alfred received an axe from an elderly looking woman when he heard a scream. He couldn't decipher if it was a pain filled scream or something else.

"Uhm, do you got some hay or something to fill a broken mattress?" He asked nicely. His voice was honey sweet as it usually was when he was dealing with old people. The woman nodded and gave him some. It was dried out which he was thankful for.

"Thanks!" He ran off in the opposite direction of Ivan's house then circled back around to it. He didn't want anyone knowing he was staying with Ivan. That'd just end badly and he knew it.

He threw the axe down on the ground and went up and started stuff the mattress from the hole he found in it. He'd go looking for Ivan if he didn't turn up soon. He look at the sunset out the window. He really hoped he returned soon…

* * *

A/N: Yeah, so another chapter. Things are starting to look up in it, no? Oh well, continue reading if you please.

Disclaimer: I still own nothing of Hetalia except a few manga which I purchased meaning that they are totally mine.


	3. Chapter 3

Ivan laid there his eyes staring up at the cold winter sky. His body ached all over. His chest was oozing blood from the claw mark the mother bear left on him. He should get up and get moving. The sky was darkening and that meant the wolves were coming out soon. Hungry, ravenous wolves that hadn't seen real food for a long, long while.

He coughed and a little blood spilled from his mouth. He barely had any strength left in his body and he really didn't feel like pushing it. Slowly his arms made way behind him and pushed him away from the cold ground. The tree needed to be brought back to the house.

Now that he thought about it, this tree really would do them no good. It was rotting already and looked to be quite heavy. He stood his legs aching and shaking as they lifted his weight. He tried to take a step and fell forward.

He sighed and stood again gripping the tree tightly and dragging it to the house. This was heavier than he expected.

He dragged the tree back to the house and knocked on his own door waiting for America to answer. The door opened after a few minutes.

"Ivan! My Ruski! Welcome back!" Alfred smiled brightly at him and he had the sudden urge to rip that smile from his face.

"I brought the tree." Alfred's eyes widened when he saw the blood and wounds all over him.

"You're hurt." * He nodded and stepped inside.

"I don't have any water here. There is a well somewhere outside, but since it is getting dark I wouldn't suggest we get any today." He sat down on the floor against a wall.

* * *

Alfred nodded and walked over to him before getting an axe and going to chop the tree into the best he could get for repairs for the window. It was a shoddy job at most, but it would do. He'd have to figure a way to get some money to fix the rest of this shit hole.

He went upstairs and tried repairing the window to the best of his ability. He really wished they could stay somewhere else.

After a while he walked down finding Ivan passed out in a pile of blood. He was very tempted to leave him there still not forgiving him for being a communist, but he pulled him up the stairs anyway making sure he hit his head on each one like a good capitalist pig.

He threw Ivan on the mattress and lay down on top of him. There was no room to lie beside him. At least that's what he kept telling himself. He closed his eyes willing sleep to take him even if the room was definitely below freezing and he was afraid that ghosts would appear. He was a man and men protect the innocent! Namely their selves.

* * *

"No one loves you Ivan. No one." Shut up! I know this! Now shut up!

"Honestly, I don't know why you even try. You should just give up." Be quiet! Please! Please!

"Your own people don't even like you. That's really pathetic." I know! I know this! Please! Leave me be!

"At this rate you'll be even more useless than a cockroach, but of course you know this. Perhaps just put a bullet in your head and get it over with. It'd be so easy just to end it all." Let me alone! I am through with you! Don't speak to me! I don't want to hear you!

"I know where one is located. It's in America's jacket. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you borrowed it." Shut up! Just shut up!

"Ivan, you should **die**." I know…

Alfred looked up at Ivan. He seemed to be having a restless dream. He wondered if he should wake him or not, but decided against considering he was about to fall asleep himself. He'd just ask him about it in the morning…

* * *

A.N./ So, yeah, I know it sucks. But who really gives a damn? Not like people read these things anyway.

I don't' own Hetalia nor anything to do with it.


	4. Chapter 4

Sometimes the sidewalk ends and you have to step on the grass.  
They say all good times must come to an end.  
But you continue on until you reach another sidewalk.  
Then you just go on until you reach another good time.  
And that sidewalk will end soon as well  
Then that time will end just as the time before  
Making you step onto the grass again  
And the dark times will begin  
And the grass will be difficult to walk on  
But they say it is always darkest before the dawn  
And the ground will be difficult and lumpy to walk on  
And the darkness will pass with another good time  
But then a sidewalk will emerge  
And the good times will continue in their roundabout way  
And your path will continue

Until the very end and you get to your destination.  
How you get there won't matter  
It won't matter how bloody or broken you've become  
Or how loose your bones are from their sockets  
Neither if you're running on empty  
Nor if you're only managing by dragging yourself through dirt.  
The only thing that would matter  
Is that you would be there.

Your body may be like a mirror broken into tiny fragments  
That the more you try and pick up, the  
More the pieces shatter.  
Or it may be like a rock  
That the water crashes against every day  
Wearing you down  
Into a mere pebble.  
It may be like a flower  
That has died  
And the petals stay on  
The ground and the  
Rest attached to the stem  
It waits to be crushed  
Down into the ground.

What will be will be  
And what is broken  
And can't be fixed  
Will taunt you until—

* * *

Ivan sat up feeling a heavy weight on his chest. It was pressed harshly against his wound in such a way that it kept it from healing during the night. He looked down to watch Alfred with his eyes closed lying against him.

He didn't think much of it. He was big and took up too much space on the dirty mattress. He glanced at his cheek and smirked. Alfred's cheek was smeared with his blood. How nice it looked on him.

He stood up forcing Alfred to fall back against the mattress and partly the floor. He paid him no mind as he walked downstairs. They needed food. They needed wood. They needed water.

He looked out a broken window. The sun was just now starting to rise. The wolves would still be out right now, but they would be less likely to cross his path. He looked at his coat. It was torn. He would have to make do.

He walked outside and grabbed a cold steal bucket that had started to rust. Little chips of red orange dust rubbed against his hand and he swung the bucket around carelessly.

His feet hit the ground making a sound that didn't register in his mind, but he knew it was a sound by the fact his ears were the ones to pick it up. His legs felt numb as he walked on the cold, hard ground. The well was a mile or two from his house. In the direction he seemed to know by not really knowing, but more on the edge of remembrance and the edge of just a passing word.

The air was cold and it bit against the skin of his cheeks. It was harsh but it felt good to his lungs. It felt right. It felt warmer outside than inside.

He stood at the edge of the well. He didn't remember walking there. He looked down just to see blackness. It seemed like it could stretch on forever. He reached his hand down into the well and the darkness seemed to move away from him. He smirked. Even evil was afraid of him.

Ivan made his way about getting the water and headed back to the house. There were no sidewalks in this part of his land. Only in the cities. He missed Moscow. He couldn't go there anymore without people trying to burn him alive.

He went inside the house and placed the water down. Firewood for the stove. That was what he needed. He was so routine in this that it almost felt like the firewood would appear in his hands. He needed to go and kill something for food.

* * *

Alfred walked down the stairs to see Ivan come in. He looked and saw a bucket of rusty water and made a face. He would have to work with it.

"No more than one?" He pointed to the bucket when Ivan gave him a confused look.

"I only have one bucket." He nodded and looked at it with disinterest.

"Food?" He stepped closer to Ivan.

"I will have to go kill something." He pursed his lips together.

"Find a rabbit. You go kill it. I'll get some firewood." Ivan nodded and left and Alfred crossed his arms. This felt like way back when again. He shook his head and went out in search of firewood.

He walked outside feeling the sun Caress the back of his neck. He wouldn't go too far into the woods in case he couldn't find his way back. Only far enough. He shook his head. Ivan should really just come and stay with him in America.

Alfred walked into the woods picking up the driest sticks he could find. He yawned walking. It was peaceful like this. Very quiet and no one or anything around. Just him and the sky.

* * *

Ivan killed the rabbit. He killed the rabbit like he had killed that child long, long ago. It's neck snapped easily and it only twitched for a moment before it stopped.

You deserve to die. You don't deserve food. You've been dealing without for a long while now. You don't' need any. Just get enough for Alfred.

He picked up the limp body and held it loosely in his hand. The rabbit didn't even have a chance. He shrugged and put it in his coat pocket. He felt that he should keep the little thing warm until he could find another to keep it company.

_You're sick_. The thought kept rattling around his head. Falling against the walls of his skull. It turned over and over again dissipating into mush and then forming again like water to gas to water all over again.

He clicked his tongue seeing another rabbit run by. This one was a pretty white. It would die today. He shook his head and went after it.

* * *

A.N./ I usually write these things when I'm a bit depressed. Helps me connect with the characters. Gotta give my cat away. My own fault for getting attached to him. The poor thing's gotta go. Hope you all liked it, but right now I could care less if you did or not.


	5. Chapter 5

He walked back to the house. The animals were dead in his coat. The little rabbits stood no chance against him. The cold air bit against his skin nipping at his cheeks and stinging his eyes. The cold made it easier to breathe.

His tongue darted out and swiped across his lips. He could hear the familiar growling of his stomach. He needed to go home as quick as possible. If he was hungry then he knew Alfred would be.

Legs moved without him giving the okay. His feet hit the ground heavily making a thumping sound. It sounded through the woods loud and low in volume. His ears tingled as the sound met them. It resounded over and over again each time his foot hit the ground and then again in his mind mimicking the sound with a fake quality that only happens with a sound inside your head.

He reached the house in no time taking out the dead rabbits and dropping them inside the door. The house was colder than the air outside just as it ought not to be. His eyes trailed to the ground. The floor was littered with mud. He shut the door. There was no reason to take off his coat.

"Alfred?" The question hung in the air. It sounded out of place. It felt out of place. That word didn't belong on his lips. Not on his tongue. Not around his teeth slithering out slowly.

It took a moment before a sound resounded through the house.

"Lighting the fire!" He picked up the rabbits by their ears and went to the living room. His feet felt wrong against the soft carpeted floor.

Alfred was lighting the fire the old fashioned way. Playing the violin with sticks. The rabbits ears started to slip from his hands. His tongue flicked out and swiped across his lips again.

"You got food. Skin 'em for me." Lips stretched across teeth in a make-shift smile.

"No, I caught them. You skin them and cook them." Alfred looked displeased at the idea. He took pleasure in knowing that he was the one to cause that displeasure.

"I can make your food taste like crap. England did have a major part in raising me, ya know." Alfred glared at him and he laughed merrily. A true laugh. Not the bitter one he was so accustomed to.

"Alfred, there is not enough food here for you and me. One will have to go without eating." Alfred glared at him.

"If I'm cooking, I'm eating." He nodded and sat down at the table.

"I figured as much. I do not wish to eat." He looked back at Alfred. Blue eyes tinted with anger. They were still so shiny. He hated those eyes. He'd like to pull them out of his head.

* * *

Alfred grunted and went to work on skinning the animals. A bloody mess lay on the floor when he was down. He grabbed a piece of wood and speared on of the rabbits. The fire was already going.

"There's still time to go get some food." He thrust the dead animal into the fire and watched delighted as the flames danced around it.

"I do not require any. I am a country therefor I do not need to eat." Alfred kept his eyes on the rabbit cooking.

"You don't require it, but if you don't have it you'll just end up with all the sings of starvation minus the actually starving part." He licked his lips and thrust the rabbit deeper into the fire.

"That is exactly why I do not wish to eat." He finally turned to him. He was eyeing him up and down.

"What's your game, commie?" He pursed his lips and leaned forward.

"I am so sick, America. Demented." He paused and licked his lips. "I don't wish to continue anymore. I am a country of people who hate their country. I don't know what to do with myself. Everything within me is telling me to hurt. To be in pain." He trembled a bit. "With these thoughts I can no longer be consider human. Not any part of me. My thoughts are evil, America. They tell me to hurt others." He covered his mouth as though he would throw up.

"If it looks like a human and acts like a human, guess what, it's a human." Alfred shrugged turning back to the fire.

"I no longer act human. Any human motion I happen to have feels too strange for words. America, I am not human anymore. I don't think I ever will be." Alfred smirked and turned back to him.

"Ivan, I told you to call me Alfred. Anyways, I find this all very delightful. You in pain. It's quite funny. Deliciously so! You are just too cute for words, Ivan." He smiled happily towards him pulling the meat out of the fire when it started to smell like it was burning a bit.

"You are very cruel, Alfred." He just nodded and set the food on the ground grabbing another stick and spearing the next rabbit.

"There's enough food for two here." Ivan sat beside him.

"I'm not hungry." He smiled slowly.

"Then I'll just have to feed you until you are." They looked into each other's eyes for a while before he turned away back to the food rotating it.

"We'd be very good allies now, Ivan. The Cold War is gone and so is the USSR." Ivan nodded picking at the already cooked rabbit. "I think you and I will be getting along very well."

* * *

Ivan looked up. Alfred did not look like he should have. He was not that carefree young boy that wanted to play hero. He didn't have that happy, charming air about him. He looked… Evil.

"Sleeping together again?" He smiled at Alfred. A true smile. Not the make shift one used when one cannot figure out how to use a real one.

"We are." He nodded understanding.

"We're getting along well, Alfred." They looked at each other for a long time. They both understood that they were comrades now. They were of the same species now. Neither of them human nor country. Something new and unknown.

"I'm glad you think so too." Alfred smiled and he smiled right back and they ate next to the fire.

* * *

A.N./ I feel very lonely when I am happy and look around and no one else is happy with me. It's a sad feeling since I do enjoy my solitude. There are a lot of fragments in this thing. English teachers everywhere would be ashamed to glance at it as they well should be. This chapter sucks. It's boring and useless other than in the fact that they begin to understand each other. This is gonna be one messed up piece of shit.


	6. Chapter 6

Ivan awoke the next day with Alfred on his chest again. This was new. This was exciting. He'd never been so close to another person like this and he didn't mean physically.

He pushed the other off of him and onto the floor. It wasn't much a difference between the bed and the floor and not much a height.

Alfred grunted and Ivan chuckled. He stood up. Another day he had made it through the night. He would have to do again what he did yesterday. He stretched his legs even though their protest screamed loudly in his mind.

Alfred sat up and looked him in the eye and he smiled to him. Such a cute boy. Especially without his glasses.

"Commie bastard! What the fuck did ya do that for?!" He licked his lips and stretched his arms above his head. They ached with the wear from yesterday. He would have to do this again.

"I have to get water and food." Alfred glared at him.

"Where the hell in this no good piece of a country can use a phone." He shrugged not knowing a phone within walking distance. There were a few in the city with the rich.

"Damn it, Ivan!" He stood up angrily. Ivan just watched him and walked closer to him.

"Do you want to hit me, Alfred? I'll let you." He leaned in close to him his lips ghosting over the others ear sending a shiver down his spine. "I know you'd like to." He kept his hands clasped behind his back lest he do something he knew would be bad for him.

"No! Now get your commie ass to the well to fetch us some water!" Alfred smirked at him. He just shrugged and left to go get the water.

He stepped out of the house. It was colder than yesterday. He licked his lips just to taste the air. It filled his lungs and felt cool and nice. It felt like smooth ice cream except too thin to be ice cream and cold enough to cool his throat.

He tilted his head back to see the pale gray sky that stretched with endless clouds just to depress everyone who saw it. He reached his arm up to the sky as if to grasp it and rip the color away.

His arm dropped and his legs moved by themselves in the way to which the well was located.

* * *

Ivan had left him and he was alone in the middle of Russia. He sighed and looked to the poorly patched window. It was amazing they hadn't frozen in their sleep. He still had a month left of this.

He lay back down on the lumpy mattress. This whole entire thing felt useless. Russia and him were… They were supposed to be enemies. He guessed last night had changed them in that aspect. They were some sort of comrades now even if he didn't want to be.

He stared at the molding ceiling then sat up. He would have to get some more firewood. They should always get plenty in case the weather decided to act up.

His feet hit the ground and he put on his glasses. It was still cold. His feet tingled against the freezing floor. He shivered and stuck on his shoes.

He walked out the door to look at the gray sky. That sure set the mood for a depressing day. He headed for the woods seeing a small rabbit run by. He wondered if it was one to die today. That would be unfortunate since it seemed only to be a baby.

He started picking up the driest sticks and branches. They felt numb against his palms and his fingers scraped against the bark of the wood or stick.

The leaves crunched under his boots. The sound tingled against his ears as he continued onwards gathering sticks.

* * *

The bucket of water sat inside the door and he shut the door slowly not to stir it. He walked out into the woods. It was starting to get dark and he saw a wolf. He smirked.

As he approached the lone wolf, which was odd, stared him down growling a bit. He picked up a sharp stick off the ground. Now or never. He lunged to the wolf.

* * *

Alfred sat in front of the fire waiting for Ivan. He was taking a while. He thought he ought to go look for him but decided against it quickly. He knew wolves came out at night and he knew there were wolves in those woods.

He heard the door open and he walked over to it. Ivan stood with a dead wolf in his hands.

"That's certainly a catch." He nodded and he smiled. Alfred clicked his tongue. "Skin it." He sat back down at the fire.

"I caught, you skin." Alfred smirked at him.

"You want it cooked?" Ivan nodded slowly not understanding that this was a bit of a trick question. "Then skin it and I'll cook it."

Ivan glared at him and went to skin the bloody, limp body in his arms. Alfred just sat and smirked warming his hands by the fire occasionally poking it with a stick.

He came back in a bit with the thing skinned.

"Bring the knife and I'll cut it up." Ivan grabbed the knife and handed it to him. Alfred started cutting it up and sticking it on the stick.

* * *

"This is quite boring." Ivan stated watching Alfred do as he did.

"We could always make out." Ivan assumed he was being sarcastic, but the idea was so tempting he leaned in and pressed his lips against Alfred's.

"Mmph?!" Alfred's eyes widened and Ivan smirked against his lips. He closed his eyes and started moving his lips against the other's. Alfred didn't respond, but he didn't mind. It was meant as a joke anyway. He pulled away slowly.

"What the hell was that for?!" Alfred yelled. He picked up the stick with the meat on it and shoved it into the fire holding it carefully.

"You said we could make out." He stared him in the eyes. It was funny the way Alfred blushed.

"I didn't mean it!" He glared and pouted pulling the meat away from Ivan and started twirling it in the fire.

"You didn't? I thought you did. I mean you made such a cute face that I was so sure!" He smirked and leaned back all the while Alfred glared at him.

"Bastard." He laughed a bit; his self-loathing dissipating for a little while. It would come back when he was alone. It always did.

"Why, Alfred, it's not nice to use such language!" He tutted and leaned close to Alfred again.

"Screw you!" Alfred glared at him annoyed. Ivan took great pleasure in the fact that he had made him mad. He would take even more pleasure if he made him sad.

"I would gladly, but it is much too cold to do that without any heat. I know I'm certainly not getting naked in this weather!" He leaned back again watching Alfred.

"Gladly?" Alfred quirked a brow looking at him. Apparently that was the only thing he received from those words. Ivan blushed at what he had said when he finally realized.

"I think this is a conversation for when we get back to your house." Alfred nodded looking at him wearily.

"I think the food is burning." Alfred jumped in shock and pulling meat from the fire.

* * *

A.N./ My best friend just said good bye forever. That hurt a lot. Can't figure out what I did wrong. I need to get these guys to America and soon so it'll be more interesting. A bit of comedic relief.


	7. Chapter 7

A.N./ Just a warning beforehand, this will contain cannibalism, though, I'm not entirely sure it can be classified as such.

* * *

Alfred sat up in bed. He couldn't sleep not when he had heard Ivan say that he would gladly fuck him. The words left an odd feeling echoing inside of his head. They resounded against the walls over and over again falling down into the bottom of his brain only to be brought up again.

He stared at Ivan awkwardly. He lay sleeping and he looked peaceful enough. He would occasionally grunt and turn over leaving Alfred to look at his back or his front depending on the way he turned.

He sighed and ran a hand through his matted hair. He needed to shower. He stunk and he was sure of it. He had no way to contact his boss though so that meant no shower. He smiled as Ivan turned and threw an arm around his waist. This was gonna be fun.

He quickly stripped himself of all clothing and as much as it was fucking freezing he bore it. He pulled Ivan's shirt over his head and tossed it. Nothing like a practical joke to fuck with a commie's mind.

He undid his pants and took his dick out blushing a little. It was all for the sake of a joke. His coat was thrown over both of them and he tried to settle down for sleep.

* * *

Ivan woke up early in the morning freezing cold. He wondered if it had snowed and that's why he was cold. He had continued to wonder this when he saw that Alfred was naked beside him.

"Funny… I don't remember doing anything with him…" He stared for a few more moments. Water and food were required.

A sudden noise rang through the house. It was sharp and biting screaming in the house that should have long ago been empty.

He stood covering Alfred more with his coat and then putting on his shirt before tucking himself away blushing. He walked to the edge of the stairs. He could hear the voices of children downstairs. He took a step at a time trying not to alert them to his presence.

He ended at the bottom of the stair and looked to see three men and two little girls. He leaned against the wall watching them.

The men were discussing something in low voices and he could not make out what they were saying. The two children were able to be heard, but he did not understand what language they were speaking.

The little girls wore sundresses and had their hair tied back in pig tails like they were trying to mock each other as a mirror. He just stared at them thinking how odd their choice of clothing was.

The men's voices grew louder and more distinctively Russia. His mother tongue had never sounded as cruel as their voices had when they resonated throughout the halls.

"We rape them and kill them. This place is long abandoned. No one will know!" The man with a beard was saying. He was the ring leader of the two. He had a crooked nose and slits for eyes that were black little lines on his pale colored face. Broad shoulders and a skinny waist. He looked magnificently deformed like that.

"Kill?! You never said anything about killing!" The other man had large doe eyes that looked like they needed to be ripped from his skull. He was balding and his skin looked like paper. He was much too thin.

"They've seen our faces! They can't live!" Ivan grew bored of their conversation. The two children and their kidnappers had nothing to do with him, but he was sure if Alfred woke up then he would definitely want to save the girls. He smirked and walked out into the living room.

"Gentleman, leave now. I care not what you're doing here, but this is my house and you are intruding." He stood in front of the smaller male. The man trembled slightly and looked to his comrade in fear.

"The fuck do you want?!" He licked his lips. Alfred would surely hear them if they were too loud.

"You to leave or suffer the consequences." The bearded man leapt at him. He smiled and grabbed ahold of him and hugged him tightly. It was an odd form of embrace, but he tightened his arms waiting for a sickening crack that came with a broken bone.

"GAH!" The man screamed as he was crushed by Ivan's arms. Ivan was just loving it as he let out those blood curdling yelps. It was so delightful!

"Let him go!" The thin man yelled at him tugging at his arms. Ivan could hear Alfred walking down the steps. He quickly snapped the other man's back laughing.

* * *

Alfred stood in the door way of the living room watching them. A strange feeling had washed over him. He felt no reason to help the man Ivan was torturing. He just stared at the scene as the men screamed. He looked over and saw two children looking extremely frightened.

He walked over to the little girls and asked in English, "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

They stared at him in awe not saying a word. He wondered if they spoke Russian instead. He would have tried it if they didn't grab ahold of him when Ivan lunged at the twig of a man.

He watched as he hit the man several times. He beat him to death and Alfred just stood and watched. He smiled when Ivan finished.

"Well, well, well!" He declared in glee having an idea come to his head. They would survive this month yet.

Ivan looked at him like he had grown two head and barked. He laughed and pets the little girls' heads.

"Looks like dinner is already caught. Go skin it." He licked his lips and led the girls to the floor beside the fireplace. He was only wearing Ivan's coat.

"You want us to eat humans?" Ivan stared at him in obvious shock. Alfred just nodded and petted the girls' head. He grabbed some fire wood and threw it in the fire place.

"Now go on. The little ones look hungry." He lit the fire and Ivan took the men into the kitchen were Alfred assumed he was skinning the new meat.

"Little ones, tell me your names." The two girls just stared at him. They did not speak English. He just sighed and shook his head. How annoying. He would have to give them away as soon as possible though he knew of not a soul to take them.

He pet their hair warming up by the fire.

* * *

Ivan skinned the humans. They were his humans. A part of him. He was going to eat them. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

Ivan cut slices of the meat off in slabs and brought them to Alfred. He made a disgusted face.

"I don't want to eat them." He said it quietly and Alfred just looked at him.

"You'll set a bad example for the kids. You're going to eat them." Ivan just stared and handed them meat over to Alfred who took it and placed it on sticks. The two little girls were curled up to him like he was their new mother. Ivan knew it to be impossible for Alfred to be a mother, but he thought the sight was cute.

"They don't speak Russian." He stated and sat behind Alfred.

"They don't speak English either. It will be difficult to communicate with them." Ivan nodded and wrapped his arms around Alfred's waist.

"We can't keep them, Ivan." He just nodded again as the two girls had laid their heads in Alfred's lap contently.

"They'll be too much to feed and take care of." He laughed lightly.

"I'm being serious here." Alfred leaned back into his embrace.

"Then, let's keep them. In a month we'll bring them to America." He snuggled his head into Alfred's neck.

"Already here!" He laughed and his mouth watered. The meat smelled delicious.

He stopped petting the girls' heads and pulled the meat out of the fire. It was a bit hot to the touch, but he bore with it and ripped it into handing a slice to each girl.

The girls ate it greedily and he handed another slice to Ivan then took one for himself. It tasted divine considering how hungry he was. The little girls must have been hungry as well seeing as how they devoured it so quickly.

"You really want to keep them?" He nibbled at the meat.

"I do." Alfred nodded and stared down at the girls. He felt somewhat protective over them. They were so cute and small.

"In a month we'll give them to social services." Ivan nodded and he could feel it on his neck. He didn't really want to make the girls leave. They were cute little things…

* * *

A.N./ Oh cannibalism! Good old fashioned cannibalism! My kittens died. It is a saddening thought. I'm getting a new one! Fleas are not good for kittens. Learned my hamster doesn't like rammstein and my rats do. They fell asleep to them. Sorry for the delayed update… Suppose I wasn't in the mood to write, but it's all good now. Leave reviews and it will make me happy.


	8. Chapter 8

Two weeks had already passed with them in Russia. It was still awkward sleeping with Ivan himself, but with the little girls sleeping on both their chests he hardly noticed anymore.

He was currently lying with Ivan and said girls. He hadn't known what to call them at first. He asked Ivan what he liked. He just gave some weird Russian names. They argued on that for a bit, but neither Ivan nor him had much energy to keep up the fight. They split them half and half.

"Amalie, Irina, get oooooff!" He wined and pushed on the little ones. They'd been picking up English rather nicely and unfortunately they were picking up Russian as well.

Ivan turned and looked at him smiling and Alfred scowled. If he could move his arms he'd wipe that smug look off Ivan's face. He stuck out his tongue and wiggled trying to get Irina off of him. She preferred him while Amalie preferred Ivan. Children were weird like that. The one that looks like the mom prefers the dad and the one that looks like the dad prefers the mom.

Eventually Irina sat up and looked at him with doe brown eyes. She said something in her own language that he couldn't understand and got up. Her dress was very dirty and so was she. Alfred knew for a fact that she had not had a bath in at least two weeks if not more.

"Ivan, they need baths." He looked at him expectantly. Ivan just shrugged.

"Get up and give them baths." He grabbed his hair and pulled him upright.

"Ow! Alfred! Stop that!" He smirked and pulled Amalie up off him and petted her hair. Irina gave him a look of pure hatred and forced him to pet hers as well. He just smiled and kissed them both on the forehead.

* * *

"They need baths." Ivan stood. He never got his coat back from Alfred. The young man had given it to Irina and his own to Amalie. Children were such an annoyance.

"We have two weeks until we go back. I am sure they will be fine." Ivan rolled his eyes watching as Alfred cooed over the girls. It was annoying and Alfred was giving him the evil eye for all it was worth.

"They need a bath and so do I. You've got a choice you either bathe them or me." Ivan's eyes lit up brightly and he licked his lips. Bathe the little American? Bath Alfred who just happened to like teasing him.

"I think my choice would be to bathe you." Ivan smirked up at him. He knew the girls could only catch fragments of their sentences.

"Never mind, you don't have a choice anymore. You're not bathing the girls or me. Never know what a pervert is going to do." Ivan pouted and lay back down.

"You still gotta get up. You have to get a tub big enough to hold me comfortable and fill it up with water three times." Alfred smiled at him like an angel. It was a shame he knew it to be the smile of the devil.

Ivan just glared at him and stood. He looked at the girls who stood looking extremely dirty. It wouldn't hurt for them to have a bath as long as they didn't freeze to death. He sighed and stood up.

"Then, I'll be off to rob a neighbor." The girls' doe eyes looked up at him and he felt a sheepish blush crawl up his neck.

"They've robbed me too." They still didn't stop staring at him.

"Just go and I'll deal with the damage." Ivan nodded and took off immediately.

* * *

Alfred smiled down at the girls and went about figuring how to make their breakfast today. It was freezing cold outside and he didn't feel like searching for any food. Suddenly there was a meow and the girls' eyes lit up. He frowned.

"No cats." The girls looked up at him as the kitten waltzed into the room.

"No cats." They gave him their best puppy dog eyes and went to go play with it. He rolled his eyes and walked outside. There like a dead bird on his door step. He walked inside and smiled at the girls.

"Go play with the kitty and I'll cook breakfast." He shooed them out and set to work on fixing their breakfast. It would have been easier if the bird didn't practically fall apart when he tried cooking it. That was quite annoying.

Eventually the bird was cooked and he was feeding it to the girls. It was still awkward with them, but he was getting used to it. He looked at a broken window. Ivan lived in this place. He laughed a bit and shook his head. Three months in America, no pun intended, would be a great vacation for him.

* * *

Ivan walked in to see the girls playing with a cat. He could care less as long as he didn't have to feed it. He walked into the living room with a giant tub filled with water and sat it down in front of Alfred.

"Strip and get in. We have to get through this before dark." Alfred smirked.

"I'll bathe with Irina and you can bathe with Amalie." Ivan glared.

"I don't need to bathe." Alfred gave him a look that said he was stupid as fuck. Ivan yawned.

"You need to bathe and so does Amalie." He said nibbling at the dead bird that tasted absolutely awful.

Ivan grunted and waited for the bath to warm before he got Amalie and had a very complicated bath. It was fine until she decided she wanted to know what that thing between his legs was.

Everyone was bathed by night time though. They would go without dinner tonight it seemed.

* * *

Alfred yawned and got everyone into to be tiredly. He had a long day.

"Ivan, the girls are asleep." Ivan grunted at him. He just laughed softly.

"We'll be in America in two weeks." Another grunt.

"We can celebrate by becoming porn stars." Ivan grunted again and Alfred laughed a bit too loudly before quieting himself. Sleepy Ivan was pretty funny. He never would have thought so before, but he also wouldn't have thought him the kind to be so caring towards children.

He closed his eyes willing sleep to come. They only had two more weeks until they were to leave for America. He only had to make it in this ice filled horror land until then.

* * *

A.N./ It's late, but it's there. I got roses on Thanks Giving. Oddest moment ever. But they're pretty. Enjoy the comedic relief. It'll get darker again.


	9. Chapter 9

Alfred lay awake staring at Ivan's sleeping face. He had gotten much better recently. He didn't seem as lifeless as he did when Alfred first arrived. He sat up pushing Irina off of his chest.

He scowled. There was a reason he didn't ever want any children. He pet the girl's head and sighed. Ivan and he were finally on good terms and all it took was a bit of depression and horrible living conditions.

He licked his lips and glared at the dark. It was fucking freezing in here and there was nothing he could do about it. He stood up and yanked off his shirt in annoyance.

The cold immediately hit his skin. It was biting. He pulled off his pants. His skin prickled. He ran his hand through his hair feeling the strands pull against his scalp.

He took a deep breath and the cold air filled his lungs. Soft, cynical laughter filled the air.

"Feels like ice cream." He jerked his boxers off then piled all his clothes on top of the girls to make them warmer.

"Stupid humans." His feet padded softly against the floor as he walked downstairs.

He sat down in front of the empty fireplace. Smiling he laid down right next to it as if mocking the idea of warmth.

* * *

Ivan realized that he was much too warm when he woke up after he heard a strange noise. He sat up with both girls laying on him. Alfred was nowhere in sight.

He frowned and pushed the little girls off of him. They were not his concern anyway. The fact that Alfred's clothes covered them was intriguing though.

He walked down stairs. Ivan saw Alfred. Oh, yes, he _saw_ Alfred. He was lying there naked by an unlit fireplace.

"Alfred?" His voice sounded distant.

"Hm?" Alfred sat up his legs spread wide as though nothing were wrong with this situation.

"You're naked and it is below freezing in here." Alfred quirked his eyebrow just to say so?

"Is there a reason for this?" He just shrugged and lay back down.

Ivan sighed and walked over to him. He towered over him like this. He licked his lips as his eyes scanned over his body.

"I am sure you would be more comfortable if you put your clothes back on." He stopped on his face and stared into baby blue eyes.

"What if the point of this is to be uncomfortable?" He smirked at him and kneeled beside him.

"And why would you make it a point to do that?" Alfred looked over at him and gave him a lopsided grin.

"You ever felt the extreme urge to escape? The urge is so strong that you have to act?" Ivan gave him a look that said he was crazy though he knew of that urge. It drove him over the edge time and time again. "And you know that there is nothing you can really do. There is nowhere you can run. You're stuck and there is nothing you can do about it."

"Do you have a point?" Ivan lay down beside him.

"I couldn't just sit there and do nothing. I had to act. Taking off my clothes made me feel free." He started petting Alfred's hair.

"Mind if I join you?" He smirked. Alfred looked at him openly curious. "It was a joke."

He rolled over to face him. He licked his lips and leaned forward.

"I could kiss you right now." Alfred nodded. He hovered above his lips. "I could force you and there would be nothing you could do about it. I could rape you. I could violate you in so many ways."

"Want to know something, Ivan? Something I should never tell you?" Ivan looked at him without curiosity. He had no interest in knowing.

"And what would that be, _Alfred_?" He purred his name continuing to hover over him.

Alfred chuckled. "I could care less if I died and that makes me a wonderful adversary."

"That is not a very interesting secret." He murmured letting his forehead rest against Alfred's.

"You're right, but I'm not all that interesting anyway." Alfred closed his eyes. Ivan caressed his cheek like he would an old lover.

"I find you extremely boring." Alfred opened his eyes and they stared at each other. It was so intimate that it was ridiculous.

"You damn better or else you are definitely not a worthy adversary." Ivan chuckled and rolled over bored.

"I never said I was." He stared at the dark ceiling. The sun was starting to come up.

"The girls will be getting up soon." Alfred stated it. Ivan looked over at him.

"What's your point?" Alfred's head turned to him.

"What's your angle?" Ivan didn't know what he meant by that. He didn't dignify it with a response.

A few minutes of silence passed between them.

"Alfred, I think I like you so very much. " Ivan smiled at him.

"Ivan, you're getting soft." The silence started up again.

* * *

A.N./ Time passes too fast or too slow. It never goes just right. It's very unfortunate. It also means that my chapters don't like to get out when I want them to.


	10. Chapter 10

A month had passed and Alfred couldn't say he was happy. He stood staring at the sky waiting for the airplane. Irina and Amalie stood beside him. They both held onto his hand like the dutiful children they were. Ivan stood beside Amalie on her other side.

"They said four o'clock." Alfred commented and Irina clutched his hand tighter feeling the irritation in his voice. Ivan turned to face him still holding Amalie's hand.

"You don't have a watch." Alfred glared at him and stared back at the sky. It was quiet and cold.

"I can tell by the sun." He heard something in the distance. It sounded like a motor. He took a calming breath trying to decipher the sound hoping his mind wasn't playing tricks on him again.

"You don't have a watch?" Alfred grunted. He was straining his ears listening for a motor like sound. He didn't hear anything again. It was another false alarm.

"I lost it." He sold it to an old woman for a pretty penny. He saw a bird fly across the sky. It screeched as it flew off into the distance.

"I have a watch." Alfred turned to look at him and quirked a smile. The smile only held malice.

"How awkward of you to mention that now." He stared at him in the eyes. Ivan's eyes were playful, but they held a secret to them.

"I don't find it so at all. I can relay what time it is if you'd like." Alfred's smile turned into a frown for a moment before he smiled again letting go of the children's hands. He stepped over to Ivan.

"There's a price to pay for everything." Ivan nodded and leaned in close to him.

"You're right. This is a steep one." Alfred kept his eyes on him before chuckling. He stepped back and looked Ivan up and down. Smirking he should his head.

Alfred kneeled down and gave Irina a kiss on the forehead and then repeated the action with Amalie. The girls just smiled at him. He looked up at Ivan.

"What's the price?" Ivan stared at him. His eyes still veiled in secret. Alfred didn't like it.

"I've killed a child before, you know. Slit his throat." Alfred quirked a brow. He had done things he wasn't proud of as well. Vietnam came back to him.

"So? What's your point? All countries have." He stood up and stepped close to Ivan again. Ivan pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time before putting it back in his pocket.

"It's four thirty." Alfred leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He left his lips there for a minute before pulled back slowly and looking Ivan in the eyes. His eyes were sparkling for the first time in a while.

Alfred smiled for the first time in a while without any malice in it at all. He leaned in again and kissed him on the forehead. Ivan looked so cute surprised like that. He didn't expect it obviously.

He could hear the plane motor again. He looked up to the sky and there it came. It was an old rickety plane that he didn't think would make it across the ocean.

The plane landed in a meadow close to the house. He grabbed the two girls' hands and walked over to it. A man stepped out. He was probably handsome when he was young, but now he looked like an old drunk. How suitable.

"Ya comin' or not?" Alfred gave him a movie star smile.

"Course we are!" He ran to the plane with the two girls. "Bringing these little ones with us too. Found 'em in our house with two creepy guys. Both Russian of course!" Alfred jumped into the plane with the two girls. The inside looked as bad as the outside.

Ivan stepped into it after them. He looked over at Alfred and kissed him on the cheek in mock affection. Alfred just smiled at him.

* * *

"Which house are we going to?" Ivan looked at Alfred. He was a horrible person, but now he knew Alfred was too. He was just as awful as him. He had paid the price for the time. He had given him some very important information. Alfred was a monster too.

"We're going south for winter." Ivan scooted closer to him. He put his arm around Alfred's shoulders.

"Which state?" He leaned down and almost kissed him, but decided against it and just stayed there almost kissing him, but not quite.

"I was thinking maybe we should go to Alabama or South Carolina." Alfred leaned slightly closer to him their lips barely touching. It couldn't be called a kiss. It was so feather light that he wasn't quite sure their lips were touching at all.

"Are they warm this time of year?" He closed his eyes. It was a sign of trust for most people. For him it was a sign of kill me if you wish for I don't care.

"They aren't cold." Ivan chuckled and grabbed the back of Alfred's head.

"I don't want to kiss you." He was lying. He wanted to kiss the American more than he should. He wanted to kiss another monster. He had finally found someone like him and he wanted to express his joy of it.

"Liar, you're lips are trembling. That's okay though, I want to kiss you too." Ivan pulled away and looked out the window.

"It isn't nice to lie, Alfred." His hand stayed gripping Alfred's hair. The plane ride was silent besides the two girls chatting in their own language. He side and closed his eyes. They would be in America soon enough.

* * *

A.N./ Christmas is so freaking expensive. I don't think I've had these two kiss yet. So now we know Alfred is a baby killer, but everyone should have known that anyway. Ivan is a child killer too. Now they head off too America. To the south! Because it isn't cold! At least from the average temperatures of certain cities in December it doesn't look cold.


	11. Chapter 11

"Who said I was lying?" He looked over and smiled at him. Ivan had his eyes closed. He clicked his tongue and leaned close to him.

"You're a monster." He smiled and snuggled up against his side. Irina looked up at him smiling. He gave her a little wink and she giggled.

"I know. Aren't all of us? Think about it, Ivan. We've all done terrible things. Look at Ludwig. Austria, Arthur, Japan, China, Spain… All of them have done horrid things. Things no one should ever do. We've all done it." Alfred grabbed Ivan's head. He turned it to face him. Ivan had opened his eyes. He continued, "It happens. You get used to being a monster. You get used to the horrible dreams."

* * *

"I wasn't in war when I killed a child." Alfred looked at him his eyes blank.

"Why tell me?" Alfred just looked back at the girls. Ivan stared at him for a minute. He couldn't believe his ears. Then, he looked out the window.

The plane was moving much too slowly for his tastes, but he didn't say anything. It was too old to go any faster. He sighed as the land rolled by.

"Where are we headed?" His eyes stayed fixed on the window. He could hear Alfred shuffling around.

"Washington D.C. first and then we'll decide where to go from there." Ivan yawned and shifted in his seat. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

He awoke a few hours later. Alfred was asleep with his head in Ivan's lap. He grabbed his hair with intent on yanking him up, but stopped. He ran his hand through Alfred's hair. It was coarse.

The two girls were curled up together. The pilot was looking down on the ground.

"How much longer?" The man turned back to look at him for a second before turning back. He had bags under his eyes. It was obvious how tired he was.

"We're touching down soon. Be in Washington in 'bout and hour or so. The plane doesn't move all that fast." He grunted and yawned. He wanted to stretch, but Alfred was on his lap.

"How long was I out?" He yawned again. He reached into his coat and pulled out a cigarette. "Got a light?"

"Yeah, just a sec." The pilot handed him a matchbook. Ivan didn't mind that he ignored his first question.

Ivan lit the end of the cigarette before puffing on it. He wrinkled his nose in distaste. It tasted awful, much worse than he had remembered.

He spent the last part of the plane ride stroking Alfred's coarse hair. It was boring, but he had nothing else to do.

The plane had a touch of turbulence that woke Alfred up.

"You're awake." Alfred looked up at him wearily.

"Go die in a burning hole of fire." Ivan laughed his ass off while Alfred glared at him. He ran his hand through Alfred's hair once more.

"Let's fuck when we get there." Ivan's face lit up and he looked down at him.

"I… I will think about it."

* * *

A.N./ Just a little teaser chapter I suppose. I like where I ended though. ^^ Hope you enjoyed if you read it.


	12. Chapter 12

"Just think about it? Damn, I must not be as sexy as I first thought." Ivan rolled his eyes. Alfred was staring at the cigarette between his fingers.

"Want a smoke?" Alfred shook his head, but continued to stare. Ivan put it out. He could see city lights in the distance.

"Cigarettes are bad for you." Ivan shrugged and yawned.

"You think I'm going to die or something?" He leaned close to him nuzzling his neck.

"You're so awkward Ivan!" He glared at him as the plane hit some more turbulence. Pulling away he looked out the window. Nothing but clouds littered his view. He looked to the pilot who seemed to think nothing was wrong.

"How much longer until we get to Washington?" The pilot looked back at him for a second. He shrugged and turned back around.

"We've been circling D.C. for fifteen minutes now." The man's voice was muffled. "I can't see to the ground well enough to land." Groaning Ivan threw his head into Alfred's lap.

"How long is this accursed trip going to be?!" He cried out. Alfred just looked at him with an undefinable expression. Ivan turned away still with his head in his lap. He couldn't stand to see him with that look on his face.

"Papa?" Amalie looked up to him from the floor.

"What is it, lapushka?" She stared with big eyes and smiled slightly.

"When we get to America, can I have my own room?" Ivan looked over to Alfred. His eyes seemed bored. They seemed like they were somewhere else. He slipped his arm around him and pulled his head up slightly.

"She can have her own room. So can Irina." He let his head drop.

The plane hit more turbulence and started tilting downwards. Ivan looked up to the pilot. He seemed to know what he was doing. Alfred sat up and grabbed his hands.

He could feel the wheels hit the ground. He licked his lips. He bounced a little. Alfred grabbed ahold of his hands and looked into his eyes. There was some spark of life. He leaned forward taking this as an invitation. Alfred pulled away turning his head. There was a very distinguishable blush on his face.

They exited the plane. The ride home was quiet. The girls didn't say anything. He didn't feel like he could say anything. They stopped by the Whitehouse to say hi to the President.

When they reached the house he felt he could no longer stay quiet. He grabbed Alfred's hand and leaned in to his ear.

"I want to speak with you in private." He whispered to him nipping at his ear a little. Alfred nodded then showed the girls to their room. He came back when he had put them to bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" He stood with his arms out as if begging Ivan to wound him.

"I was going to kiss you earlier." Alfred nodded blushing a little.

"I know it." He licked his lips and stepped closer to him. Alfred didn't move away.

"I want to kiss you now." Alfred stepped closer to him. They were standing about an inch apart.

"Then kiss me!" Ivan smirked and leant in stopping just short of his mouth.

"You are going to kiss me." He didn't move only waited for Alfred's lips to meet his.

* * *

Alfred paused for a moment before leaning in to close the last bit of that gap. They pressed their lips together. It was dry and quick. He pulled away quickly.

He turned his head and walked away leaving Ivan standing in the middle of the living room. The blush on his face was too obvious. Alfred walked into the bedroom and started stripping. He waited for Ivan for a moment before he climbed into bed.

Ivan walked in only a few minutes later.

"You can sleep in here if you want." Ivan nodded and took off his coat.

"I sleep naked by the way." Ivan just smirked at him and took off his shirt.

"So do I."

* * *

A.N./ Sorry about this. Writers block and I was busy. I know no excuses are necessary, but I owe you all a reason if you're still reading…


	13. Chapter 13

"Just stay on your side of the bed and we won't have any problems." Alfred yawned and snuggled deep into the cars. He popped his head out and looked at Ivan as he stripped. He couldn't help the small smirk on his face.

"Ivan, have you ever personally killed one of your citizens?" His voice came out a bit muffled from the covers. Ivan climbed in beside him rolling his eyes. Alfred wrapped an arm around him and snuggled into his chest.

"The confessions corner again?" Alfred nodded kicking him a little. He took off his glasses and set them on the nightstand. Everything went blurry.

"I've done it before. I'm sure you have." Ivan shrugged and started stroking his hair. He sighed and leaned his head back to make more contact with his hand.

"I have and I'm sure you have as well." Alfred grunted and threw his leg across Ivan. He rolled over to be on top of him more.

Ivan put both arms around him. They fit together rather nicely. He quickly pushed that thought from his mind.

"Wanna try one of mine?" Alfred looked up and smiled at him. He looked like a little angel without his glasses.

"You're not human." Ivan spat out glaring at him. Alfred smiled even wider. He had a look in his eyes. It was devious, deceitful, and maybe a little scary.

Alfred just shrugged. He never felt more human than when he was with Ivan. He didn't feel this way with England or Canada. He felt isolated.

He snuggled up closer to Ivan. The man was blurry without his glasses. Everything was all blurry. He didn't like it.

"I still hate you." Alfred looked Ivan straight in the eyes and smiled at him when he said it. The smile didn't reach his eyes. Ivan just smirked at him. It was too blurry for him to it well.

"I love you too, Alfred." Ivan closed his eyes and fell asleep comforted by the words Alfred had said. Alfred, on the other hand, stared at him for a little while deciding whether he meant his words or not.

* * *

"Six clicks is a mighty short walk when you march behind a band..." Ivan woke up to Alfred's muffled singing. He could tell he was taking a shower just from the sound of his voice.

He groaned and sat up debating on whether he should check on the girls or not. They were probably still asleep. They weren't in school yet so there was no real reason for them to be awake at this ungodly hour.

Ivan looked over to the clock. 11:02 AM. It was much too early for it to be morning. He sighed and flopped back down onto the bed. His life wasn't as depressing now that he was with Alfred. He didn't know if the other felt this way or not, but he could honestly say that Alfred seemed happier.

"But six clicks can seem like a hundred miles when you're walking in Charlie's land…" Ivan stood up and walked over to the bathroom door listening to the sad song sound so happy. It tore his heart up to hear it. He knew he was responsible for personally helping the Viet Cong.

He walked away from the door. There is no reason to bring up bad memories. There was no reason to remember that war.

"Ivan?" Alfred just walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Water still dripped from his hair. Ivan didn't respond instead choosing to stare him down.

"You remember napalm?" He nodded closing his eyes seeing the pictures of children who were burned alive. He remembered walking down with some Viet Cong to a burned village. The Americans had suspected Viet Cong to be there. They were right, but in being right they sacrificed people who weren't even involved.

"What about it?" Alfred just shrugged. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out some pants and underwear.

"That song just reminded me of it. I had the radio on this morning when I was working out. It was on the oldies station. Of all the wars that I've been in I can honestly say that one was the worst. I think the tension is what really did it for me." Ivan nodded watching Alfred dress himself in some blue jeans and a ragged old t-shirt.

"Not knowing who the enemy is and never seeing them. When you walk through elephant grass never knowing if you're going to set off a trip wire or if you'll find yourself with punji stakes in your body." He finished dressing and walked over to him.

"You were trying to stop communism." Alfred nodded.

"Yeah, containment. If they just stayed at the 17th parallel we wouldn't have even gone!" He shook his head laughing dryly.

"Let them govern themselves, right?" Alfred walked past him as he said this.

"They were communist. Communism is bad." He just shrugged. He preferred not to think of such horrible things.

"It's not so bad in theory." Ivan remarked thoughtlessly. Alfred just smiled wryly at him.

"And that is exactly why I will never be able to trust you, Ivan." Ivan just shrugged not letting on how much that comment actually hurt him.

* * *

A.N./ And this one is finished! I wrote this while listening to that song about walking in Charlie's land. Every time I hear the song I feel like crying.


	14. Chapter 14

Trust is a stupid thing anyway. Trusting someone and then the letdown. Ivan closed his eyes and laid back down on the bed.

"Ivan… Why are we countries? I don't see the point in it." Ivan felt a pressure beside him on the bed. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"There has to be a reason, right? There's a reason for everything." Alfred spoke nonchalantly. Ivan didn't believe he truly cared anyway. Alfred seemed much more demented than Ivan had previously thought.

Silence filled the room. It was about ready to burst his ear drums that he couldn't' take it anymore. He sat up and looked at Alfred for a long while before smiling.

"Turn on the radio." Alfred rolled his eyes and did as he was told. Ivan flopped back down onto the bed as the music filled the room.

"Alfred, you should stop questioning things so much. Just let everything be." Ivan opened his eyes to the queer look Alfred was giving him.

"That's exactly something a communist would say. Are you still secretly a communist, Ivan?" Alfred's eyes were dead serious. He leaned forward close enough to kiss him. Ivan's breath caught for a moment before he leaned forward to meet Alfred.

Their lips were millimeters from touching. Alfred sighed and Ivan could feel his warm breath ghost over Ivan's lips.

"The Russian Federation is not communist." Ivan smirked at the glare he received. He leaned closer to close the gap when Alfred pulled away.

"I won't kiss a commie!" Ivan sighed. He was still hooked on that. The Soviet Union didn't exist anymore. What did it matter if Ivan still thought that the idea of true communism was appealing? It was a good idea in theory. He would never try to test that theory out again though.

He lay down and pulled Alfred on top of him.

"I am not communist. Alfred, Alfred, Alfred, what will I do with you? Should I bake you into a pie? Should I throw you out a window? Push you down an escalator? What will I do with my dear, sweet Alfred? I could cook you into a nice roast for the girls. How does that sound?" Ivan could see Alfred's eyes glazing over with disinterest in his conversation.

"No, Sam I am, I do not like green eggs and ham." The only noise in the room was the radio host spouting out some bullshit.

Ivan stared at Alfred for a minute. He could not have heard that right. His name was not Sam and he had asked nothing about green eggs and ham. Were green eggs even possible? Perhaps Alfred should be taken to the doctor. He had been acting weird lately anyway.

"I think I will cook you into a nice roast for the girls. You would be very delicious. What do you think you should be served with? White or red wine? Perhaps I should invite Francis over for dinner and get his opinion on it." Ivan smirked seeing Alfred's eyes light up with interest.

"Invite Francis over to eat me? Why, he would be tickled pink! I must agree with you whole heartedly on this one, Ivan. At first I thought you were full of shit, but this seems like a generally good idea. Instead of cooking all of me at once I say we slice off bits of my skin and freeze them. That way I will be able to heal up quite nicely and still give you more meat. This is a wonderful idea!" Ivan smirk slid away.

Alfred wanted to be eaten. He also wanted to be there to watch the reaction of whoever was eating him.

Ivan bit his lip. He was sure this was not normal behavior. Normal people were not excited at the prospect of being eaten. He was stuck. Should he call the men in white coats? Should he stay with Alfred? There would be no forgiveness if he called the psychiatric ward at the hospital. Ivan really did like Alfred and he very much wanted to stay with him.

"Oh! Let's tell the girls! They'll love the idea. We'll tell them it will be a practical joke! My little ones love practical jokes. They were telling me just the other day about the jokes they played on some of the orphans. Children are very cruel. I find it absolutely hilarious!" Ivan nodded.

He pulled Alfred closer to him. He didn't know what to do. This wasn't normal. He tore skin from his lip so it bled. He looked at Alfred's sky blue eyes and smiled. He would just have to wait a little while longer to see if Alfred would come out of his funny thinking. Hopefully he would snap out of it before Ivan had to cook him into a roast…

* * *

Alfred smiled up at Ivan. Oh how wonderfully funny it would be to see Francis' face knowing he had just eaten America! He had to start planning very quickly. His eyes shined as he looked at Ivan. He had never found someone who understood him so well.

* * *

A.N./ Work work and more work. What else do I do? Write? No, I sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Ivan had no idea what to do. Alfred had started cutting off bits of skin, wrapping them up in plastic wrap, and then shoving them into the freezer. He even went as far as to tell the girls that it was a game and that they could play along.

Ivan looked over to Alfred and sighed. He was singing again while slicing off some more of his skin.

Ivan couldn't take watching this anymore! He waited until Alfred had left the room before grabbing the phone and dialing the first number he could think of; Germany. The phone rang twice before the line was cut dead.

Ivan pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it for a few moments. He hesitated to look behind him before finally turning around.

Alfred was standing in the doorway with a butcher knife and wire cutter. He had a crazy look in his eyes like he was about to murder someone. Ivan figured he was going to be that someone. It was rather unfortunate since Ivan couldn't die.

"The girls are asleep in their beds. I think it's time for you to go to bed too." Alfred smiled at him and sit the wire cutters down on the counter.

"I think it is time for me to go to bed as well." He laughed nervously.

Alfred started to advance towards him. Ivan was cornered. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do.

"Alfred, do you think it would be a good idea if you put that knife down so we could both take a small nap before dinner?" Ivan smiled and put his hands on Alfred's shoulders.

"I don't think so, Ivan." Alfred purred and brushed his noes against Ivan's in an Eskimo kiss.

Ivan felt a sudden sharp pain in his side. He looked down to see the knife buried in his abdomen. Ivan grit his teeth as Alfred pulled it out.

"Maybe we should talk about this…" Ivan panted grabbing at his side.

"There is no discussing this. You're going to bed!" Alfred just smiled at him. Alfred's eyes were glazed over. Ivan didn't know what was going on.

He fell to his knees and blacked out.

"Good night, Ivan…" Alfred smiled looking down at him bleeding companion.


End file.
